Me in Matera, Italy

Saturday, 13 August 2011

Maximum Inefficiency

I am generally hesitant to actually give advice to others, especially on my blog; however, I am so confident in my ability to be in efficient that I am making an exception.  Over the past two days, I have been frantically cleaning, organizing and preparing for my Aunt to visit and even though I've know about this for a very long time, I left everything to the last minute and tried to cram way too much in leading to a lot of aggravation and frustration along the way.  So here I'm going to share with all of you my top 10 inefficiency tips, Letterman style.

Before you get started though, be sure you pick the right project because in order to ensure maximum inefficiency, it should be a project that you really do not want to do (like cleaning your house), if you enjoy doing something it can be more difficult to truly be inefficient. 

Tip #10. Set your expectations high, so high that given the time and resources you have the task is virtually unachievable.

Tip #9. Be tired before you start.  Be exhausted if possible.  In fact, don't take care of yourself at all.  Don't shower.  Don't eat.  It's important that you start off in the correct state of mind.

Tip #8. Feel sorry for yourself.  Convince yourself that everyone else on the planet is having so much fun and that they all have so much more help than you do.

Tip #7. Incorporate distractions ~ tv, music, telephone, texting ~ whatever distracts you most will do.

Tip #6. Create extra work as you go ~ spilling, dropping, breaking.  It doesn't matter what just as long as it creates chaos and/or frustration and is quite difficult to clean it up.

Tip #5. Keep supplies like cleaners and paper towels and especially the garbage can in a separate area from where you working, on an entirely different floor if you can.  This way you will spend lots of time and energy running around the house.  If you are inconsistent with where you keep it, you can also waste a lot of time looking for things which is excellent in this process.

Tip #4. Don't finish anything the first time around.  For example if you take dishes out of your bedroom, don't take them to the kitchen and put them directly in the dishwasher.  Maybe make a pile outside your door and then add an item to your list to take them to the kitchen later.

Tip #3. Plan a LOT.  Make lists and plan out how long you think every task will take, make schedules for yourself and repeat this process often throughout the period of time you are working on this project.  Some people underestimate the importance of planning to the inefficiency process but trust me, it works.

Tip #2.  Add in extra projects, especially ones you've been avoiding long term and aren't very important at this moment.  This can include things like washing blinds, cleaning the dust in the tiny little fan ducts with a cotton swab, clean out and organize your pantry, sort shoes.  As long as the task has minimal impact on the final outcome then it qualifies under this category and will assist you in prolonging your project.

Tip #1. And my number one tip for maximum inefficiency is to spend a lot of time thinking about how you will blog about the experience.   Try to do this in the final hour or two of your project deadline.  Distracting yourself from the task at hand when you have the least amount amount of energy and highest level of stress is sort of like icing on the proverbial inefficiency cake.

Please remember my friends that creating maximum inefficiencies in your day-to-day life is a process, it will not happen overnight.  You must practice and hone these skills but if you stick to it, I have confidence that you too one day may be as inefficient as me.


  1. HAHHA. Oh, Cleo. I am LMFO. This is me on WHB day to a TEE. I especially like to stay up to pull an all night cleaning session and then sit down to goggle detail cleaning lists by room. This is a good time to see what the daily free game download is on Gamehouse. Then, I lose 3-4 hours on the new game and decide to go on to bed. It's generally about 5 am by now. Then, I drag myself out of bed at noon on less sleep than I need and try to get going again.

  2. I do this... all... about once a week! Too too funny!

  3. Lol! This is wonderful! It sadly fits me so well too. I think these are skills I have all ready honed!