Me in Matera, Italy

Saturday, 16 July 2011

Closing for Restoration

These past few months I have felt like I'm unraveling and I don't really know why.  It seems to me that I have been in survival mode for so long, doing superficial type "upkeep" but the damage caused from the trials and tribulations of life is severe, perhaps unrepairable.

It makes me think of a house that has suffered fires, floods, wind storms, wear and tear.  The house has aged more than it should for it's years but it has also endured more.  From the outside everything looks okay; certainly the surface work done has kept it presentable, mostly to avoid complaints from the neighbors.  The debris has been removed, walls have been painted, floors have been covered over, weeds have been killed and the lawn has been mowed.

 Underneath all of that, who really knows how bad it is.  What's the condition of the plumbing and wiring?  Are there cracks in the foundation?  Is it even worse than that; has toxic mould spread throughout?  The true damage is really unknown to the casual observer.

How important is the truth really?  Can a person indefinitely hide what's really going on underneath that tough exterior that they've worked so hard to achieve?  I have a lot of questions and very few answers.

Some time ago a random message was sent to me via facebook; a daily truth from the Brave Girls Club.  Starting with "Dear Weary Girl ... " and ending with "Everything is going to be okay, it really is.  You are going to make it.".  Whoever wrote this message knows me, I don't know how they know me but they do and their messages reach my heart.  I was so positively affected by it that I signed up for the daily emails.

From there I found a course offered on the same website called Soul Restoration and it was like they were describing me and my worn down house that I had been imagining over the past few months.  I procrastinated for a few weeks but today I finally signed up.  I believe this was sent to me for a reason, I simply don't believe in coincidences ... not to this extent.  I do feel totally disconnected and beyond repair.  I don't necessarily believe that a six week course can restore my soul but I'm willing to try.  I am joining the brave girls and I am closing for restoration.
Wish me luck!

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