In this era of self discovery and self improvement, we are not only encouraged but mandated to identify and examine our flaws. It does not take us long to find out we have problems, we make mistakes and then we make a daunting list of every thing we want to change about ourselves. We feel inferior. We feel broken and we attempt to FIX ourselves ... CHANGE ourselves. AND sometimes through this process we forget who we really are, we forget the amazing things that make us unique and special.
I believe in learning and growing as an individual. I believe in investing time in figuring out who we are and what path we want to be on. The danger, I find, is in letting ourselves fall into an identity of being broken, problematic, troublesome. We try to turn ourselves into someone we were not meant to be and we chastise ourselves for not being willing or able to change. Do we really need to change ourselves into an entirely different person or do we just need to tweak a few things about ourselves?
I have felt really lost and broken, damaged beyond repair and I have been doing a lot of searching. What I have found is that I have created this identity for myself of being a dilemma, a problem to be solved, a person who makes so many mistakes, a burden. Along the way, I somehow forgot that I also have some really unique and "awesome" characteristics until just recently I was reminded by my daughter who wrote me a list of "Specifically Awesome Appreciations That is Mum". In this list she reminds me that it's not only just okay to be me; I am appreciated and loved for exactly the person I am right now.
Yes, I will keep studying those roadmaps, learning and growing but I will also remember to maintain the qualities that make me authentically me. Shakespeare said it best "This above all: to thine own self be true."